JewsByChoice.Org

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There has been an interesting series posted on the Hirhurim Musings blog about Why People Become Orthodox, and I thought it would be useful to share here simply because the perspectives of many Conservative rabbis are shared. Essentially a question was posed to a number of rabbis across the spectrum of Judaism, and as far as I can tell it’s an ongoing series.

The first post came from Conservative Rabbi David Wolpe of Sinai Temple in Los Angeles. Essentially, he said, there are three reasons why he believes people “choose to be Orthodox: community, coherence and connection.” He also says these are “positive reasons.” Rabbi Wolpe ends his response, which you can read here, by saying, “There are good reasons to choose orthodoxy. Now, why am I not orthodox? Ah, perhaps that is a question I will have the opportunity to elaborate another day.”

The second post also came from a Conservative rabbi, Charles L. Arian of Beth Jacob Synagogue in Norwich, CT. The rabbi speaks of a phenomenon — at least in the Conservative community:

A young man or woman attends a Schechter school and learns about Shabbat and kashrut and tefillin and so on. At Camp Ramah, they live halachic Judaism (by Conservative standards if not Orthodox ones) 24/7. They may attend a college with a strong Conservative minyan at Hillel and many other Conservative Jews who participate in the kosher meal plan. Then they go out into the world and want to be a part of a community where this level of observance is maintained. If they happen to live in New York or Washington or Boston or LA — and perhaps a handful of other places — they can find either an independent non-Orthodox minyan or a “Library Minyan” within a larger Conservative shul where this level of observance is, if not the norm, at least not considered outlandish. If they are not so fortunate — or if they are single and looking to find a spouse with the same observance level and want to broaden their dating pool — they may well gravitate towards the Modern Orthodox community.

He calls this “Orthodoxy by osmosis,” and I think this is a pretty poignant observation. I know that in my experience at the Conservative shul near where I live, people often talk about the Minyans, which use the shul simply as a gathering place, but do not necessarily associate with the greater community there. Rabbi Arian ends his discussion by saying, “I wish that we Conservatives were more successful in creating observant communities so that we did not “lose” so many of our best and brightest to Orthodoxy – but that is a problem we will have to tackle on our own.” I think he hits on an important point there, as well, and perhaps the crux of the dilemma facing Conservative Judaism today.

The third post comes from a Reform rabbi here in Chicago (where I am) — Rabbi Evan Moffic of Chicago Sinai. His answer was very short, and I think anything valuable he could have added was lost in his brevity. It seems that he suggests, in his post, that Orthodoxy reflects a conformist, impersonal identity and a life without variety. That it provides certainty that there is one way, and one way only. From what I’ve seen of the Orthodox community, and what I know from occasional attendance at a MO shul and having friends in the community, there is much variety.

Conservative Rabbi Elliot Cosgrove, formerly of Anshe Emet synagogue here in Chicago and now is at Park Avenue Synagogue. Rabbi Cosgrove falls very much in line with the thoughts of Rabbi Arian above when he says,

As Conservative Jews, our deserved pride in Schechter Schools, Ramah Camps and USY programs should not blind us from recognizing our inability to translate those energetic experiences into urban and suburban Jewish life and learning. It is not at all surprising that observant Jews seeking a Shabbat community opt out of their denominational label when it comes to establishing their own homes. As is the right of any consumer, they are simply choosing to express their observance in a context more suitable to their tastes, and are taking their business elsewhere.

His answer for why so many choose Orthodoxy — whether in name or spirit — is because of community.

And finally, the most recent post comes from Orthodox Rabbi Kenneth Brander, the inaugural Dean of Yeshiva University, Center for the Jewish Future, and rabbi emeritus of Boca Raton synagogue. He believes that the reasons are a combination of both the philosophical and the practical. He relates stories about families who are not observant but send their children to day schools and eventually have to keep up with their children, thus, becoming observant. Others, he says, become socially Orthodox for the sake of their children. He also, though, warns against observance breaking a family — when becoming religious is a sort of way out of deeply seeded issues that one might feel they can solve by simply becoming more religious. Rabbi Brander ends his discussion by stating that not all who ender the Orthodox world will become observant, and nor should that be the goal of those within the community: “… we must serve as enablers to help people find their spiritual wings, showing love and tolerance, educating but never indoctrinating.”

I look forward to future posts in this series, because I think it is interesting to get the perspective of rabbis across the spectrum on why they think people move to Orthodoxy. It seems to me that the resounding response from the rabbis already polled is that it is a practical move, not so much about affiliation as it is about personal preference. Someone might be Conservative, but be Shomer Shabbos and kosher, and sometimes that doesn’t mesh with the greater community in certain areas of the country. Likewise, there are Reform Jews who do the same, making it difficult to associate at a Shabbat dinner or Friday night outing with their cohorts.

As a Jew by Choice, these perspectives are fascinating and useful, because I firmly believe — at least, this is how it appears to me — that the search for a comfortable place among the Jewish people and in Judaism is almost constant, neverending. It is when we become comfortable with where we are that we tend to lose sight of the bigger picture, and perhaps even who we are and where we’re going. When people ask how I affiliate, my typical answer is that I’m “floating.” Reform Judaism ceases to move me, Orthodox Judaism fascinates me, Conservative Judaism is ideal as an idea. Then of course there’s Reconstructionism and Traditional and more, and I continue to explore them all.

I do hope that the words and opinions of these rabbis provide a bit of something to gnaw on for you, the readers. Please let me know what you think!

One of my favorite bloggers, Treppenwitz, had a post yesterday beginning the saga of how he and his family made aliyah. While I’ve had this post in my blog bank for a few weeks now, I felt inspired by Trep’s story to put this up sooner rather than later.

Shortly after making aliyah with my family in 2006, I undertook to keep family and friends abreast of our new life in Israel by sending out e-letters ("missives" I called them). They were lengthy, full of news and views, and documented our daily adventures as new immigrants.

While discussions around Israel on and off the blog frequently center on the angst and political conflicts that rack the State, I have wanted to post something positive about "the Jewish national home." This brings me to my Top 25 Reasons Why We Made Aliyah, dating from a December 2006 missive. Eighteen months later, I have only changed two things. These are not the only reasons we came, but they remain some of the most compelling. Here they are:

1. Jewish day school tuition in hundreds (as opposed to tens of thousands) of dollars
2. Affordable housing in Jewish areas (i.e. throughout most of the country)
3. Mind-blowingly fresh produce
4. Varied and plentiful kosher restaurants
5. Vered HaGalil chocolate (available in milk, dairy or parve bittersweet, and parve 60% cacao)
6. Immediate feeling of solidarity with Israel
7. Mild winters (at least compared to New England’s)
8. Modest standard of living
9. The eruv is never down
10. Kids learn independence early (my 3- and 5-year old kids could walk the 5 minutes to synagogue together on Shabbat, without me)
11. Relatively safe environment, especially for children
12. Closer to the rest of the world both physically and psychologically (if not philosophically)
13. Plentiful Jewish learning
14. Greater school choices (can have religious, all-girls, and special ed. services AT ONCE if desired)
15. Whole country is on the Jewish calendar
16. Climate matches Jewish holidays (e.g. it’s still warm during Sukkot)
17. Feeling of communal unity rather than isolation (Jews here are the rule rather than the exception)
18. Feeling of making history rather than watching it from afar
19. Being close to Jewish holy sites
20. The summer fruit season: oranges, watermelons, canteloupes, peaches, cherries, plums, and grapes all ripe at once
21. Having the beach, mountains, and desert in a place the size of New Jersey
22. Opportunity to settle the land where our history began and has continued for thousands of years
23. Being able to see the many amazing archeological sites which show how people lived here long ago
24. Doing our part to make sure there is a refuge for Jews if it becomes necessary again
25. Never having to leave Israel again and wondering when our next visit will be

I have believed for some time that while Israel is not the only place for Jews to live, it is surely the best place for Jews to live. I recognize that not everyone loves this place as much as we do. Many have never even been here, others have visited and see no reason to come back, and others love to visit but have ties to the Diaspora that prevent their being able (or wanting) to move here. But just as some people tend to look at converts and ask, "Why would you do such a crazy thing?" I imagine others look at people who choose to move here and have the same question.

What would it take for YOU to make aliyah?

This coming Shabbat, with my rabbi on vacation and our intern doing Air Force Reserve duty, I will have the opportunity to lead Torah study and services for our informal Shabbat morning. As I’ve observed others over the past few years lead services at my temple I’ve taken a number of mental notes and what to do and what not to do. As potential prayer leaders I thought it might be a good idea to do a post on what I’ve been thinking about. One disclaimer before I begin: this is all coming from the perspective of leading a small, Reform Shabbat morning service, though it could obviously be adapted for more traditional settings.

1. Be prepared.

Like the Boy Scouts, it is always good to go through the siddur a few days before hand and make sure you know what you want to do: what are you going to read in Hebrew vs. English? What are you going to sing vs. chant or read? What melodies will you use? What parts will you read personally and what parts will you have others take turns reading? I would suggest using sticky notes to mark cues for yourself (such as “we join together in the singing of Mah Tovu on page 104” or “we stand now for the call to worship on page 108”). It is always good to have your own siddur, but most synagogues would not have a problem with loaning one out if you don’t.

2. Know your audience.

Obviously your congregation and fellow worshipers are not an audience, but the idea still holds true. If you usually have a group of people who are proficient in Hebrew you’ll probably want to use more Hebrew. If you have people who like to sing, you’ll want to sing more. If you know that you will have students who are working towards a bar or bat mitzvah in attendance maybe set aside a prayer for them to do by themselves. However…

3. Be prepared to make quick adjustments!

Just because you have planned on doing one thing does not mean you should stick to that plan exactly once the service begins. Go in knowing that you may need to adapt to the needs of the congregation. You may have planned what you deem a perfect service, but if it is perfect only for the leader then something is wrong. Always keep at the forefront of your mind that you are helping to lead your fellows in prayer, in communicating with God. You have a responsibility to the people around you, not only to yourself. If you notice that you are the only one saying the Hebrew prayers make sure you say “We all join together in the Hebrew…” and if after that you are still going at it solo, switch to using the English translations or point out where the transliterations are. Another option is to begin in Hebrew and having everyone continue after the first line or so in English, ending with the chatima.

Keep an eye on more than just your own siddur. If you notice that someone is having problems keeping up make sure you are announcing page numbers at a regular interval. You may be able to follow along easily with the flow of the service, but not everyone else can. Announce the page and even where on the page, especially if you are using the new Reform prayerbook, Mishkan T’fila. It can be very frustrating to not know where you are in the order of the service, as I think anyone who has converted can attest to from their earliest experiences at synagogue.

4. Know the traditions and customs of the synagogue and/or that particular prayer group.

Is it tradition to stand or sit during the Sh’ma? Do you stand before beginning the Chatzi Kaddish or after? During the Torah service is there a Hakafah? Who is generally given the aliyah? I can attest to the fact that when you are used to doing things one way it can be quite jarring when someone not as familiar with the traditions of your temple comes in and does things differently; in the past we have had HUC rabbinic students fill in and they have not taken any opportunity to familiarize themselves with the custom of my temple and have just lead services as they see fit. To some extent it is the prerogative of the service leader, but again, you responsible for the group’s prayer and not just your own. If the group is going to be uncomfortable with any changes or choices you make they may have a harder time connecting to their prayer experience.

5. Be confident and comfortable!

If you are not comfortable with what you are doing it will show and could affect those around you. The first time we used MT at our Shabbat morning service it was very obvious that my rabbi was not comfortable with the new format and we all joined in awkwardly, which can be jarring for a group that usually prays in harmony. The more familiar you are with what you want to do, and the more you have things planned out in your head, the more at ease you will be when adapting changes on the fly. Remember: you don’t have to say everything. Part of being the leader is allowing others to take part and be connected to the prayer. If you feel more comfortable leading the singing but would like people to take turns with the English translations make sure you have a plan: will you just go around the room or circle or give people assignments beforehand?

If you haven’t had the opportunity to do so yet, I hope that everyone gets the chance to lead Torah study or services or both at some point. It is a very spiritually fulfilling experience to help your fellow worshippers engage in the study of Torah and in prayer. Not only is it good for you, personally, but it is beneficial for the community to see one of their own members take on that responsibility.

The 17th of Tammuz and the Three Weeks are a time of sorrow and mourning for various tragedies that have befallen the Jewish people.

When Moses descended from Mount Sinai after receiving the Ten Commandments, he saw the idol worship taking place. Becoming enraged, Moses broke the tablets.

In 1970, Libya ordered the confiscation of all Jewish property.

• The twice-daily sacrifical offerings at the First Beit HaMikdash ceased due to a lack of sheep. This was caused by the siege of the Babylonians upon the city of Jerusalem.

• The walls of Jerusalem were breached by the Romans in 70ce which ultimately ended with the destruction of the Second Beit HaMikdash and the expulsion of the Jews from the Land of Israel.

• The Roman military leader Apostomus burned a Sefer Torah (Torah Scroll) in Jerusalem.

• An idol was erected in the Beit HaMikdash by King Menashe.

• In 1239, Pope Gregory IX ordered the confiscation of all copies of the Talmud.

• In 1391, 4,000 Jews were killed in Toledo and Jaen, Spain.

• In 1559, the Jewish Quarter of Prague was looted and burned.

• In 1944, the Kovno Ghetto was liquidated.

This time culminates in Tish B’Av which is an intense day of mourning for the lose of the First and Second Beit HaMikdash (Jerusalem Temples) and other tragedies.

The decree by G-d that the generation that exited Egypt during the Exodus would wander in the wilderness for forty years and not be permitted to enter the Land of Israel.

World War I began in 1914 which ultimately led to the Second World War and the Shoah (Holocaust).

• The destruction of the First Beit HaMikdash.

• The destruction of the Second Beit HaMikdash.

• Beitar, the last fortress held out against the Romans during the Bar Kochba revolt, was captured.

• Jerusalem was razed.

• All Jews were expelled from Spain in 1492

Whenever something joyous happens in the Jewish world, I am joyous as a Jew. Whenever something horrendous happens in the Jewish world, I am sad and mournful. This is something that comes with me being a Jew – I am responsible for my fellow Jews and I am to celebrate with my fellow Jews and mourn with my fellow Jews.

This time of year makes wonder though, as a convert, can I truly mourn in a deep heart-felt way for the history that has taken place in the Jewish world before I ever became a Jew? If I can truly mourn at this time, does that make me more Jewish? If I cannot deeply mourn these tragedies, does that make me less Jewish? Intellectually, I can mourn during this time but I cannot always feel that mournfulness. So, does this mean that I am not really Jewish (at least as it relates to this time of year) or that I am just reacting to a lack of Jewish history?

What do you think?

A few weeks back my wife and I were talking about our son Ami, and naturally we discussed and tried to imagine what his future may hold for him. My wife asked what I thought about the possibility of Ami marrying a non-Jew. Here are my thoughts on this:

Simply put, I would rather he didn’t.

There are several factors that influence my thinking. First of all it would hurt. It would hurt because he would be rejecting something Cinthya and I are trying to pass down to him. Marrying out of Judaism might encourage him to neglect the foundations Cinthya and I are striving to provide for him. Some might accuse me of being selfish and you might say that I should have wanted to convert for myself. I did go through the process for myself, but I also did it with my family’s future generations in mind. Other critics might say that Ami rejecting Judaism would be the same as Cinthya and I rejecting Christianity. However, my wife and I were not raised religiously. What we want for Ami is what we lacked in our own childhoods: a strong base on which to build a strong identity. In Ami’s case, his possible rejection of Judaism would mean that we failed as Jewish parents.

Furthermore, I wouldn’t like the idea of my family contributing to the already high rate of intermarriage. I like to believe that our family is contributing to the strengthening of Judaism by replacing a family that has assimilated out. This is a responsibility I take very seriously.

My wife also went on to ask if the same would still apply if Ami’s possibly non-Jewish wife would make the decision to convert.  Of course, I would rather have any future spouse convert to Judaism, but I would prefer to have my son marry a Jew By Birth. This may sound horrible coming from a Jew By Choice or from any Jew for that matter and I do understand that when one coverts to Judaism they are Jewish PERIOD (Okay, Orthodoxy does not recognize Conservative or Reform converts, but that is a different post for a different time). However, my reasoning is based on the following: if Ami were marry a Jew By Birth I know that his children would not have to struggle with having their Jewish identity questioned. I wish this were not the case, but the fact of the matter is that this is a legitimate concern and it therefore plays a large role in the formulation of my thoughts on this subject.

Look, when it comes down to it I would be happy just as long as Ami was content. BUT would I prefer to have Ami marry a Jew over a non-Jew, whether by birth or choice?—yes. Out of those two, would I rather she be a Jew By Birth?—most definitely. My main desire is this: I want my son’s Jewish life to be as easy as possible and the deck may already be stacked against him based on the simple fact that BOTH of his parents are converts.

Judy Siegel wrote an interesting piece in the Jerusalem Post today.  One premise of the article is that the raging materialism which infects many American Jews could be mitigated by a focus on Zionism.  Whether one considers saving money for travel to Israel instead of spending it on cheap plastic crap (or that bigger condo in Boca), or one is more concerned with strengthening Jewish identity in the Diaspora,the article has some interesting points.  Two of them follow:

While political support for Israel in the general American population remains strong, using Israel as a source for collective Jewish identity has taken a tremendous hit.

I am not sure why this is.  Despite disagreement with some of its policies I am immensely proud of Israel as a Jewish state.  Eretz Yisrael is beautiful, and it is where we are most whole as Jews: its seasons fit between our holidays, its rhythms follow our calendar, and our language is spoken on its streets.  It is the one place in the world where Jews are free to be Jews without social pressure to the contrary.  So it is difficult for me to understand how a Jew in the U.S. can strongly support Israel politically, but identify with it very little as a common point shared with other Jews and a strengthener of Jewish identity.

The article also suggests that:

Assimilation and intermarriage is at the root of declining identification by Jews with and support for Israel. But an antidote is to travel to Israel, and the more you come, the better.

I couldn’t agree more.  Every Jew in the Diaspora should try to go to Israel as soon as possible.  It is hard to express what Israel did for my own sense of shared Jewish peoplehood.  As a convert, I still at times feel outside looking in, and I suppose this is only natural.  But recalling my trip to Israel, remembering the sights, sounds, smells and tastes, and the conversations with Jews of all backgrounds extracted from 5 continents, all serve to remind me of my Jewishness, along with the associated responsibilities and purpose.

I think it is possible that the author is dead on.  A strong Jewish identity anchored in identification with Israel, and economic and emotional investment in Israel, can give Jews in America a self concept to replace the self-centered, rabidly consumerist one most common here.  Do yourself a favor: go to Israel!

kol tuv,

Yair

Shalom all! I don’t think this has been posted here on JBC yet, so I thought I’d take a quick second to spread the word a little more than I already have on this quick and fascinating little survey on Yiddish that is being run by Hebrew Union College (the Reform movement’s seminary). It also plays in to a couple recent posts here on the blog about the future (if any) of Yiddish. Here are some details on the survey:

Concerning the spread of Yiddish among English speakers in North America

You are invited to participate in an interesting and entertaining survey about language. Essentially, we’re asking about the spread of Yiddish (and some Hebrew) among English speakers in North America. We’re turning to both Jews and non-Jews to answer questions like these: Who uses Yiddish words like "shmooze" and "daven" and phrases like "Money, shmoney"? Why do some people say "temple" while others say "shul"? Who prefers biblical names for their babies? Your responses will help us answer these and other questions, and you might learn something about yourself in the process. Please set aside 15-20 minutes, and click on this link to participate.

http://www.surveymonkey.com/s.aspx?sm=9eQwWyblG_2b8ixLqbt6QFhg_3d_3d

Please forward this e-mail to your friends and family. We are hoping to get thousands of responses from people of all religions, ages, and regions of the United States and Canada. If you have any questions, feel free to e-mail Prof. Sarah Bunin Benor, sbenor@huc.edu, or Prof. Steven M. Cohen, Steve34nyc@aol.com.

I posted about this previously on my personal blog, and I thank the On Chanting blog for bringing it to my attention last week! I was personally surprised at how many words they ask about that I use frequently, and in what contexts I do and don’t use them. At the same time, a lot of the words I came across left me scratching my noggin.

I just stumbled across an interesting documentary on the life and work of Simon Wiesenthal (available) online and thought it was worth sharing here on the blog. I haven’t watched it yet myself but I’m guessing that its probably the kind of thing every JBC or soon to be JBC should see at least once. Speaking for myself the Holocaust is one of the most difficult aspects of Jewish history and identity for me to connect with. Partly because of the sheer inhumanity of what happened and partly because sometimes thinking about the Holocaust challenges my sense of legitimacy as a Jew. Whenever I get too close to this subject I start to wonder if I’m worthy enough to be a representative of something that so many have died for.

Anyhow below is a synopsis of documentary and here is a link to the full version. Please note registration and download may be required. Also I have no idea how long this will be available online. So if you are interested in checking this documentary out, you might want to do it sooner rather than later.

I Have Never Forgotten You:
The Life & Legacy of Simon Wiesenthal

Weisenthal lost 89 members of his family during the Nazi Holocaust and was himself a survivor of Mauthausen Concentration Camp. Though he originally dreamed of pursuing a career in architecture, he felt a need to ensure that the world would never see such a tragedy again. Starting with a list he kept while inside the camp, Weisenthal eventually brought 1,100 individuals to justice, including the leaders of the Sobibor and Treblinka camps, and high-ranking Nazi officers Adolf Eichmann and Josef Mengele. Narrated by Academy Award-winning actress Nicole Kidman, the feature length documentary examines the man’s life and deeds. It features interviews with longtime associates, government leaders, friends and family members, many of whom have never discussed the legendary Nazi hunter on camera. What drove him to pursue this dangerous and thankless task? What kept him going when for years the odds were against his efforts? What is his legacy today?